This close to the Fourth of July, there should be two things in the front of every American's mind - fireworks and terrorists.
Fireworks - those traditional signs of American independence (appropriately invented and made in China, of course). Actually, around here, fireworks could be a bad thing. The lack of rainfall's got everything pretty dried up, so a few sparks in the wrong place could get a real work of fire started. BUT, that doesn't mean we have to let all of those bottle rockets and such go to waste! No! Use it for...
...national defense! That's right! On a day like the 4th, you know there's gotta be some sort of plot against the nation on hand, right? So lift your Chinese sparklers high with pride, light your Roman candles, and load your mortars, cuz anything low enough to be hit by fireworks probably needs to be shot down anyways.
Me? I'll be sitting here in the basement with a bucket of water.
Fireworks - those traditional signs of American independence (appropriately invented and made in China, of course). Actually, around here, fireworks could be a bad thing. The lack of rainfall's got everything pretty dried up, so a few sparks in the wrong place could get a real work of fire started. BUT, that doesn't mean we have to let all of those bottle rockets and such go to waste! No! Use it for...
...national defense! That's right! On a day like the 4th, you know there's gotta be some sort of plot against the nation on hand, right? So lift your Chinese sparklers high with pride, light your Roman candles, and load your mortars, cuz anything low enough to be hit by fireworks probably needs to be shot down anyways.
Me? I'll be sitting here in the basement with a bucket of water.
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