Attempting to make people laugh and/or inform them since June 2002
Student unravels mystery of stupid teachers
NOTRE DAME, IN - Many students of New Prairie High School in New Carlisle, IN have wondered why so many of their teachers appear to be substandard, or lacking in what they call "knowledge." And of course, it's taken a student to answer a stumping question once again.
"They just jump through hoops," said 2002 graduate of NPHS Joshua Holewczynski. "The very first exam that the teachers have to pass is a complete joke. I bet monkeys who've surgically had 90% of their brains removed could pass that stupid thing."
Mr. Holewczynski is referring to the Praxis I exam, which is very similar in format to the SATs except that it costs much, much, much more. The test covers all three of the same areas that the SATs do, just to a lesser degree.
"There was one algebra-based question. That's as difficult as it got. Most of the rest of it was about reading bar graphs or solving inequalities. The English portions were just as insultingly easy. No analogies, just 15 or so short paragraphs that were each followed by two questions about the 'main idea' or the 'implication of the paragraph above.'"
"It sank in while I was taking it that this is why some teachers have it and others don't. Anyone could want to be a teacher and be liscensed in the state of Indiana, as long as they will jump through all of the hoops set for them. It doesn't take talent to become a teacher, which is pretty sad isn't it?"
Mr. Holewczynski plans to raise these points in all of his future EDU classes while also trying to stay in the department.
Camping trip in danger
NEW CARLISLE, IN - Co-Camping Co-ordinator J. Ho has taken a look at the up and coming calendar weekends and grimaced more than once. He knows that time is becoming more and more precious every day - and that the hopes of taking a camping trip this summer have dwindled to almost nothing.
"It's kinda depressing. It should have been planned for some time in July, but the only weekend that holds any hope for us in the very last weekend of the month. Even that has its problems. It looks like the only Getaway for the summer will be the annual VI End-of-Summer Chicago Trip sometime in early August. Our office will be contacting people soon with the proposed date for that."
New Contests!
NEW CARLISLE, IN - Well, actually, it's the first contest ever (besides trying to be the 100th and 500th visitor to this site). Each time you read the Ho Times, look for the song title embedded in the articles and be the first person to leave the title and band name on the comment machine to win! This edition, our winner will win one ticket and go with yours truly to see the soon-to-be-released comedy "Johnny English" in a theater near you. Or, if you really want to go for the big time, be the 1000th visitor to the site and win a day in Indy (once again, with yours truly as your guide)! Don't ask for any more details, because we don't have them. We just pulled it out of our collective ass. Like the rest of this stuff.
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