Meijer Will Cure My Semi-Homosexual Decorations
or Tis Not the Season for Pink
The burning question of the season, which was formerly "What am I getting for Christmas?", has been replaced by a new question. This speaks directly to the heart of the holiday decorating season in St. Francis Room 102. It speaks across a span of who-knows how many years. It speaks to almost anyone who buys Christmas lights these days.
The question: Who was the idiot who started putting pink bulbs in strands of Christmas lights?
Questions like "What was this individual thinking?", "Is this person still alive, and if so, why hasn't he/she been offed yet?", and "Do we really want to know how gay this individual was?" all arise, but these are all secondary. Why pink? What was wrong with the simple red, blue, green, and yellow/orange? Hell, I'd rather have plain white lights decorating my room than a strand that is 20% pink. Even faded red ones make me cringe and fear for my heterosexual reputation, in case anyone catches a glimpse of the lights when they're plugged in. Pink has never, ever been a color for the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. Easter, maybe. But Easter is a girly holiday full of pastels like that anyways. This holiday season is not about pastels. [I realize the season isn't all about decorations either, but as far as the decorations aspect is concerned, this is a crisis. My room is lighting up PINK, for crying out loud.]
The insanity needs to stop. So somewhere in my infinite stash of random crap that I have saved on the off chance that it might someday prove useful, I have a bag of extra lights for Christmas light strands that I will be digging up and using to replace all of those damn pink bulbs. Worst case scenario, I can just go out and get an entire extra strand and use it for parts. One way or another, the reign of the pink bulbs is coming quickly to its end.
or Tis Not the Season for Pink
The burning question of the season, which was formerly "What am I getting for Christmas?", has been replaced by a new question. This speaks directly to the heart of the holiday decorating season in St. Francis Room 102. It speaks across a span of who-knows how many years. It speaks to almost anyone who buys Christmas lights these days.
The question: Who was the idiot who started putting pink bulbs in strands of Christmas lights?
Questions like "What was this individual thinking?", "Is this person still alive, and if so, why hasn't he/she been offed yet?", and "Do we really want to know how gay this individual was?" all arise, but these are all secondary. Why pink? What was wrong with the simple red, blue, green, and yellow/orange? Hell, I'd rather have plain white lights decorating my room than a strand that is 20% pink. Even faded red ones make me cringe and fear for my heterosexual reputation, in case anyone catches a glimpse of the lights when they're plugged in. Pink has never, ever been a color for the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. Easter, maybe. But Easter is a girly holiday full of pastels like that anyways. This holiday season is not about pastels. [I realize the season isn't all about decorations either, but as far as the decorations aspect is concerned, this is a crisis. My room is lighting up PINK, for crying out loud.]
The insanity needs to stop. So somewhere in my infinite stash of random crap that I have saved on the off chance that it might someday prove useful, I have a bag of extra lights for Christmas light strands that I will be digging up and using to replace all of those damn pink bulbs. Worst case scenario, I can just go out and get an entire extra strand and use it for parts. One way or another, the reign of the pink bulbs is coming quickly to its end.
Comments