Taking Care of Homeless People
or If You Know Me, You Already Know What I Mean
Who the hell do homeless people think they are? How many of them have you seen walking around with shopping carts full of their belongings? Shopping carts. I have grave doubts about the origins of those carts. They should have to carry licenses or paperwork or something for them. As far as I can figure, most of those carts were probably stolen from somewhere. Stolen!! We've all seen the signs in the parking lots of stores that encourage us to return the carts to save ourselves money (although I'm not exactly sure how that saves us money, I'm willing to take their word for it). I don't claim to be an expert in the law, but I'm pretty sure that being homeless doesn't allow you to harvest shopping carts from Meijer or some other similar establishment.
After this occured to me, I turned my mind to a solution. We could just arrest them, but that would actually be putting them under a roof. At my own expense, nonetheless. So fuck that. For lack of other solutions (and because I think this solution has to be better than anything else that can possibly be presented), I think the homeless should have a bounty placed on their heads. Who wouldn't get excited about open season on bums? Plus, if the shooting is legal, then I wouldn't have to worry about my money going into medical expenses to save their lives.
I think Indianapolis and other major cities should all consider "Operation Clean Streets." There will be less rubbish in the streets, more shopping carts at our supermarkets, more money in everyone's pockets, and more guns on the street! What's not to love? Best of all, you can come up with really cool lines to say just before you blow one of them away. I can see it now...
[homeless dude totters down the street pushing a cart full of garbage bags]
Josh: Hey! You! Homeless dude!
Homeless Dude: Could you spare an old, stinky man like myself $1.73?
Josh: What the hell? That's an odd amount.
Homeless Dude: I'm homeless, therefore I'm rather weird like that. Agent Orange and all.
Josh: Whatever.
Homeless Dude: So what do you say?
Josh: What do I say? Cart this, you theiving son of a bitch. *BLAM*
Homeless Dude: Ouch. I'll take that as a noooooooooooooo... [dies]
Josh: W00t.
Problem solved!
or If You Know Me, You Already Know What I Mean
Who the hell do homeless people think they are? How many of them have you seen walking around with shopping carts full of their belongings? Shopping carts. I have grave doubts about the origins of those carts. They should have to carry licenses or paperwork or something for them. As far as I can figure, most of those carts were probably stolen from somewhere. Stolen!! We've all seen the signs in the parking lots of stores that encourage us to return the carts to save ourselves money (although I'm not exactly sure how that saves us money, I'm willing to take their word for it). I don't claim to be an expert in the law, but I'm pretty sure that being homeless doesn't allow you to harvest shopping carts from Meijer or some other similar establishment.
After this occured to me, I turned my mind to a solution. We could just arrest them, but that would actually be putting them under a roof. At my own expense, nonetheless. So fuck that. For lack of other solutions (and because I think this solution has to be better than anything else that can possibly be presented), I think the homeless should have a bounty placed on their heads. Who wouldn't get excited about open season on bums? Plus, if the shooting is legal, then I wouldn't have to worry about my money going into medical expenses to save their lives.
I think Indianapolis and other major cities should all consider "Operation Clean Streets." There will be less rubbish in the streets, more shopping carts at our supermarkets, more money in everyone's pockets, and more guns on the street! What's not to love? Best of all, you can come up with really cool lines to say just before you blow one of them away. I can see it now...
[homeless dude totters down the street pushing a cart full of garbage bags]
Josh: Hey! You! Homeless dude!
Homeless Dude: Could you spare an old, stinky man like myself $1.73?
Josh: What the hell? That's an odd amount.
Homeless Dude: I'm homeless, therefore I'm rather weird like that. Agent Orange and all.
Josh: Whatever.
Homeless Dude: So what do you say?
Josh: What do I say? Cart this, you theiving son of a bitch. *BLAM*
Homeless Dude: Ouch. I'll take that as a noooooooooooooo... [dies]
Josh: W00t.
Problem solved!
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