What Will Happen To YOU When I Take Over The World?
or Are You Too Stupid to Procreate?
Don't take this if you can't handle the truth.
1.) Let's start with something you've already had a few seconds to think about. Do you really think that you are too stupid to procreate?
2.) dO u TyPe LiKe DiS aLl Da TyMe?!? lOlZ!!
3.) When you graduate, which field of work would suit you best?
4.) If you could choose a new national anthem, what would it be?
5.) When I say "Oasis," you say:
6.) Given $50,000 and told to buy yourself some new wheels, you would buy:
7.) Judge the validity of the statement "Global warming is a potential, long-term threat to mankind."
8.) What political party do you affiliate yourself with?
9.) When I need a drink, I look for _________ on the __________.
10.) What is your favorite season?
11.) Which response most accurately describes your reaction to the following quote?
"You will kill everything and everyone you love...and still the Tower will be pent shut against you."
12.) Prime _______:Josh::Prime _______:You
Scoring: Every A is worth five points, every B is worth three, and every C is worth one.
40-60 points: Class I. You rule. And you will rule. There are a lot of countries in the world, and I'm going to need people like you to make sure that they are all playing it cool under the new crown.
24-39 points: Class II. Well, I guess somebody has to wash the dishes. Your future in my world is set, albeit as one of my 6 billion bitches. While you will still be allowed to engage in sexual activity, you will be sterilized ASAP.
12-24 points: Class III. I am surprised that you could do that math! Good boy! Guess what? For doing do well, I'm going to give you a vacation! Congratulations, dumbass, you're bound for Indonesia on the next sabotaged ferry I can find.
0-11 points: Class IV. This option means that you have not answered all of the questions. Know what that means? You...are...an...idiot. You are hereby banned from my site. You should not be allowed to touch a computer, let alone the same planet that I walk on. Your nuked remains will be rocketed into space to foster stupidity on the other side of the galaxy.
Please leave your names and scores (as well as your address, if you earned Class IV certification) on the comment machine and I will contact you as soon as everyone realizes how much greater the world would be if I ruled it.
or Are You Too Stupid to Procreate?
Don't take this if you can't handle the truth.
1.) Let's start with something you've already had a few seconds to think about. Do you really think that you are too stupid to procreate?
A. No, the world is better for having my living genes in the pool.
B. DON'T TAKE AWAY MY NOOKIE!!
C. I'm still looking up "procreate." How do you spell that again?
2.) dO u TyPe LiKe DiS aLl Da TyMe?!? lOlZ!!
A. Just seeing that makes me want to shoot you.
B. I thought "tyme" had an 'i' in it...
C. lOlZ!!
3.) When you graduate, which field of work would suit you best?
A. Smashing subatomic particles with the new JoshBuilt (TM) Particle Accelerators
B. Smashing potatoes to feed to my family
C. Smashing beer cans with my forehead
4.) If you could choose a new national anthem, what would it be?
A. "Columbia" ~ Oasis
B. "We Will Rock You" ~ Queen
C. Anything by Missy Elliot!! She's soooooooooo talented!!!
5.) When I say "Oasis," you say:
A. I'm going to see them on June 20th with you, man.
B. Don's Liquor Oasis? Boy, haven't been there in a while.
C. That's one of the really weak Pokemon, right?
6.) Given $50,000 and told to buy yourself some new wheels, you would buy:
A. A 2004 Silverado, in dark blue or silver.
B. A 2005 Silverado, in dark blue or silver.
C. As many tires as I can buy with $50,000! Duh.
7.) Judge the validity of the statement "Global warming is a potential, long-term threat to mankind."
A. Yep, I'd say that's pretty accurate.
B. It may be accurate, but hell, what did those people in Kyoto know anyway?
C. Hold up, yo, I'm still looking up "validity." Damn.
8.) What political party do you affiliate yourself with?
A. Libertarian
B. Republican
C. Quit it with the big words, shithead. [Democrat]
9.) When I need a drink, I look for _________ on the __________.
A. Fine wine; import rack
B. Cases of beer; sale rack
C. Antifreeze; garage floor
10.) What is your favorite season?
A. Autumn
B. Summer
C. Paprika
11.) Which response most accurately describes your reaction to the following quote?
"You will kill everything and everyone you love...and still the Tower will be pent shut against you."
A. Ah, an excerpt from one of Stephen King's Dark Tower novels. Excellent choice. I think that that passage describes the strength and sacrifice that one has to make to achieve one's goals. At the same time, the hint of cruelty is a warning against absolute single-mindedness.
B. Sounds like a line from a great action movie or something. Bang bang! Haha.
C. *cries* If I'm only going to hurt people by going after what I want, I should just resign myself to a crappy life and just whine about it!
12.) Prime _______:Josh::Prime _______:You
A. Numbers; rib
B. Numbers; time
C. [Cannot answer because I hanged myself after realizing that I'm a whiny, emo punk after answering the last question]
Scoring: Every A is worth five points, every B is worth three, and every C is worth one.
40-60 points: Class I. You rule. And you will rule. There are a lot of countries in the world, and I'm going to need people like you to make sure that they are all playing it cool under the new crown.
24-39 points: Class II. Well, I guess somebody has to wash the dishes. Your future in my world is set, albeit as one of my 6 billion bitches. While you will still be allowed to engage in sexual activity, you will be sterilized ASAP.
12-24 points: Class III. I am surprised that you could do that math! Good boy! Guess what? For doing do well, I'm going to give you a vacation! Congratulations, dumbass, you're bound for Indonesia on the next sabotaged ferry I can find.
0-11 points: Class IV. This option means that you have not answered all of the questions. Know what that means? You...are...an...idiot. You are hereby banned from my site. You should not be allowed to touch a computer, let alone the same planet that I walk on. Your nuked remains will be rocketed into space to foster stupidity on the other side of the galaxy.
Please leave your names and scores (as well as your address, if you earned Class IV certification) on the comment machine and I will contact you as soon as everyone realizes how much greater the world would be if I ruled it.
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