Real Men of Balls
or My Yearly Salute to Men Like Me
Every year, I like to pull everyone's attention away from the watermelon and fireworks and back to the reason for the season. We come together on this hot and humid day in the middle of the summer to celebrate one of the few holidays dedicated to the men with real coconuts who signed the document that declared the independence of our country. This took more cajones that actually fighting the war did. If the war had been the hard part, we'd have a day to mark the end of it.
No, we have a day to remember what it took to sign that piece of paper and send it back across the water. People, you gotta remember - at that time, what they said in that document was downright harsh. It was a verbal bitch-slapping of their (former) king, who was already pissed over the whole Lexington and Concord thing. I wish we still did cool shit like that. Nowadays, war is rarely waged for a concept so righteous. We ignore the problems in our own country to attempt to fix the problems in other countries. We've gone from riding the trusty steed of Justice to riding the whore who calls herself "Justice," but whose real name is "Hypocrisy."
So a toast: To men who know when to keep their pants on and when to whip 'em out.
Cheers.
or My Yearly Salute to Men Like Me
Every year, I like to pull everyone's attention away from the watermelon and fireworks and back to the reason for the season. We come together on this hot and humid day in the middle of the summer to celebrate one of the few holidays dedicated to the men with real coconuts who signed the document that declared the independence of our country. This took more cajones that actually fighting the war did. If the war had been the hard part, we'd have a day to mark the end of it.
No, we have a day to remember what it took to sign that piece of paper and send it back across the water. People, you gotta remember - at that time, what they said in that document was downright harsh. It was a verbal bitch-slapping of their (former) king, who was already pissed over the whole Lexington and Concord thing. I wish we still did cool shit like that. Nowadays, war is rarely waged for a concept so righteous. We ignore the problems in our own country to attempt to fix the problems in other countries. We've gone from riding the trusty steed of Justice to riding the whore who calls herself "Justice," but whose real name is "Hypocrisy."
So a toast: To men who know when to keep their pants on and when to whip 'em out.
Cheers.
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