Musing

Teenage Mutant Ninja Pussies or One Worm To Bring Them All, And In Josh's Room Squash Them In retrospect, the Turtles were the biggest waste of superpower-giving ooze I've ever seen in my life. They only used the full extent of those powers in extreme situations where the world was about to end because of the never-quite-perfect plans of an old Samauri and a walking, talking brain. Once the world was safe from the forces of coolness that Shredder & Co. represented, they went back and had their little gay foursomes and ate pizza. If that's not a waste of ooze, I don't know what is. Unfortunately, the powers of Evil have found a source of ooze somewhere near my dorm room and bathed small creatures in it that were bred to be a combination between a waxworm and a spider. So now my room is being overrun by 2 inch worms with half-inch legs that come crawling out of different places at totally random times, completely grossing me out and making me wonder what ...

Charlie Brown is a Jew Lucy is a Nazi, But You Already Knew That You probably think I'm joking. I'm not. I've seen "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" almost every year of my life, I feel pretty comfortable looking at the deeper meaning behind this beloved classic. Imagine my astonishment earlier this evening when the true meaning behind the animated special hit me: Charlie and Sally Brown are stupid, Jewish, and should be stoned. * Rationale: First of all, these two kids are Browns. Historically, Browns are Jewish. There are notable exceptions, but since this isn't a main point, I'll let it be. Second, Sally threatens to sue Linus for missing tricks-or-treats when the Great Pumpkin does not show up on All Hallows Eve. Litigation comes as naturally to Jews as wailing does. Person/Being with the most suits against him: Jehovah. And Jews wonder why He's always pissed. What's with all of the whining? Seriously. ...

Happy Birthday, Buddy or Randomnessality Part Deux Over the weekend of my Fall Break, the greatest truck on earth turned 200. So next time you're having a drink, give it up for Scurf and drink another one. November 4th, 2004, I'm going to hit up my first club concert for 21ers and over. Sister Hazel is coming to The Vogue in Broad Ripple and tickets are only $18. So as long as I can find my way there, I oughta have a pretty...interesting evening. On a different musical note, Sarah and I are going to the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra on the 30th. Berlioz and Listz are on the playlist for the night, so I'm familiar with what will be played. That should be a great time as well. That goes without saying when I go out with her though. :-D EDU has finally met its death in me. It's quite liberating to be out of that crap. The professor that oversees the field experience class that I withdrew from would like me to write up a review of the teacher with ...

Do You Have The Dice? or How Notre Dame Blew The Game Against Purdue This week, everyone's favorite armchair coach is bringing you proof that he's not a completely one-sided asshole (he's an all-around asshole, thank you very much). Here are a few things that just royally pissed me off about the entire 41-16 defeat on the home turf. 1. This is Notre Dame. But this is not defense. This is a team that has been known for several years as being one of the best defenses in the nation. But watching the game today made me wonder if the defense had even set their feet on a field since last Saturday's crushing of the Huskies. While they did an admirable job of keeping the running game in check, the passing game just soared right over their heads. You have got to play a much closer game when you have an opposing QB that fires shots more accurately than John Wayne. Which leads to... 2. Kyle Orten This kid is incredible, no doubt about that. Yes, he has ...

Flashback or Remember when... It was a pretty warm day last summer as we walked along the trails in Shades, only a few hours before the rainstorm that would leave us running breathlessly and cursing all the way back to the tent. The sun was still shining at this point, actually. I still remember seeing the sun on the mud that was right in front of my face after I slid down the hill. Damn it all to Hell, but Heaton and I just HAD to make it up the side of the ravine. The slope was definitely more than a 45* angle, and when then ground beneath your feet is clay/mud that is constantly being moistened by water seeping through cracks in the rocks over your head, the climb becomes quite the challenge. That didn't stop us from tearing the crap out of that slope, though. We struggled through the jewelweed plants, reaching for rocks and roots and anything that looked like it could hold any weight. Heaton beat me by a long ways. Over and over, the rocks under my feet became t...

Redirection or Delta Pace That pretty much says it all. They say that an obscene percentage of college students change their major/career plans at least once while taking undergrad courses. And now, it seems that I am quickly headed towards becoming one of those statistics. What else can I say? I love physics. It's applied math, used for research in some of the most cunning ways in the most cutting-edge fields of modern physics. It beats trying to beat stupid high school shits into believing that the quadratic equation really is important. I started my first field experience today in which I will actually take control of a certain period twice a week for a period of several weeks. Instead of looking forward to it with an expected amount of nervousness, I know I'm going to get up in front of those kids on Thursday with nothing but a feeling of defeat. These kids don't give a damn, plain and simple. Few of them ever will. I know it's not like me to...

A One-Fingered Compliment or How To Tell When You're Truly Appreciated One of the stockboys took out a stack of groceries to put up today, then came back into the back room a minute later and asked Joe (the boss) what he should do next. Joe blinked, then suggested that he do the stack that the boy just took out. Looking surprised at Joe's brilliance, the kid said "Oh, good idea!" then hurried out. I was at Joe's desk watching the whole thing and raised my eyebrow at him after the boy walked out, saying "I wish you the best of luck starting Thursday," since my last day is Wednesday. I went back to the order I was working on as he walked over and said "I've only got one thing to say to you about that." I waited a moment, and then looked up to find his middle finger raised in my direction. Then we both laughed: mine, grateful; his, rueful. I've never felt so needed.