Top Ten Things To Do While Viewing "Episode III" or Attention Hardcore Fans - This Is A Joke WARNING - Spoilers below. And I'm not responsible for any incorrect spellings of "words" that only exist in the mind of Lucas. 10. The minute the first words appear on the screen, stand up and walk to the back of the theater, shouting "Damn it, I've seen this one already!" 9. Loudly whisper to the people around you "Isn't that Manhattan?" every time we see a panoramic shot of Corizant. 8. Start singing "Love Stinks" when Anakin chokes Padme. 7. Start singing "Highway to Hell" when Anakin and Obi Wan are floating down the river of lava. 6. Weep softly as Mace Windu and Senator Palpatine are locked in combat and wail in a deep voice "I'm melllllllting, melllllllllting...". 5. Mutter to those around you about how the Orcs have really let themselves go when we get our first shots of the Wookie's ho...
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For Sale: One (1) Soul or I Hope I Don't Regret This So. If you're a fan of Oasis but secretly hate their biggest fan (me), then have I got a deal for you. Best Buy is packaging a bonus disc with their copies of "Don't Believe The Truth," out on May 31st. I've already preordered both a vinyl copy and the Japanese import copy of the album, so three copies would be a little over the top. But I must have this bonus disc (5 live cuts of some of their greatest hits). Name your price. The bidding starts now. But be nice. Please?
Irritations #3 or I Hate Doyle Hall Nothing like moving in to a room and finding... ...Coke and duct tape goop all over the floor. ...shelves that break once you've gotten several things on top. ...cable television lines that do not work. ...Internet that does not work. ...two desk chairs, one desk. ...a suspiciously clear and sticky puddle in the middle of the desk. ...a phone whose keys get stuck and whose messages I can't retrieve. ...a mirror so low that the only hair I could comb (if I had any) would be chest hair. ...my paychecks (which I need to live) have been forwarded to my home address. No, that doesn't count as more than one Irritation. It's all one big reason to beat the living hell out of someone. I was in Marian Hall this morning trying to clear up some of these matters with the individuals who are in charge of the different things when I met on the stairs with the Dean of Campus Ministry (a great guy named Don) and some guy named Bob who's high up o...
Things You Should Know Before You Get Inside Scurf or This List Could Save Your Life 1. Don't mess with the volume. You have to wait about 15 minutes before you will be able to turn it back up to a volume that I can hear. I become rather irate without music when I'm driving, so if you value your life, don't touch the volume button. 2. The passenger side window has to be rolled up before the driver's side window, otherwise a eardrum-rupturing whistle will make the whole question of the volume of the stereo rather pointless. 3. Yes, the brake light is flashing. Don't worry about it. 4. Gently coax the seatbelt around you. A hard jerk is never a good thing. Ever. 5. If you steal the little black man on my dashboard, I will chase you. In Scurf. 6. No riding in Scurf unless you are willing and able to push him. 7. Riding in the bed of the truck is prohibited, unless you are part of a TP crew that is trying to make a desperate getaway at ...
The Year in Review or On the Fallacy of a College Education What a year. This year, I finally penetrated the myth of genius surrounding college degrees. This year, I took a stand against the bullshit that surrounds our state and federal education policies. This year, I grabbed my own education by the balls, wrestled it to the ground, and made it my bitch. This year, I cut the red tape that was stopping so many people from getting help with their network and computer issues around campus. This year, I was awarded history's highest paid summer work study position ever here at Marian College. This has been the Year of Josh. This, the year of disillusionment! You college students, I'm talking to you now. Maybe you were smart enough to do what I did a long time ago. Little good it does any of us. Look around you. We're all surrounded by idiots. College degrees aren't earned as much as bought anymore. I don’t mean to demean anyone’s efforts – God knows that everyo...
Work in Progress or Keep Your Pants On (Unless You Are Christine Taylor) Two things: - I can't say that the wait will ultimately be worth it, but I can say that in terms of length, this next post is a doozy. Look for it within a week. Warning: Most of it has been written in an atypically arrogant mood. - Musical note (haha): Audioslave's second album, titled "Out of Exile," is due to be released on May 17th, which makes seven consecutive weeks in a row that at least one phenomenal album will be released on Tuesday (barring May 3rd).