Pretzel salt must be the greatest thing ever.
or This Is One Habit That's Going To Kill Me
Seriously.
Posts
Ideas for Song of the Year
or This Is More of a Note to Myself Than a Request For Input, But If You Feel Inclined, Go Ahead
"How About You?" - Staind
"Show Me How To Live" - Audioslave
"Helter Skelter" - Oasis
"Mess" - Ben Folds Five
"Numb" - Linkin Park
Cast your votes now and maybe I'll throw them away before I make my final decision!
This Really Needs No Explanation
or Don't Bother Commenting; I Already Know What You're Going To Say
You are the "You suck and that's sad!" phrase!!: You know you're best at
everything but feel bad for the people who just can't be as wonderful as you.
Which Happy Bunny phrase are you? brought to you by Quizilla
This Program is Brought to You By the Letters C, R, A, Z, and Y
or This is Made Possible by Viewers Like You, so This is Your Fault
I had this really great plan to scan a bunch of my pictures from my past couple trips to Shades, scan them here in the lab, and then put them in some Yahoo! Briefcase with a name and password known to everybody, but all I've done so far is take the pictures. And we all know how long that took me. I just may resurrect that plan one of these days when it's so damnably boring down here. Stay tuned.
I hate bleeding-heart liberals. Passionately. (really had to get that off my chest)
In an effort to give me a little more space in my room, I finally went down to my RA last night and got a spare pair of bedposts, which allows me to loft my bed and put a bunch of stuff underneath. Sounds simple, right? I know Tori at least can identify with the royal pain in the ass that is lofting a bed and then rearranging stuff afterwards. I had to ...
Wading Through Ice Water
or Stupid Things I Would Not Recommend
Being stupid is great. But to be properly stupid, you've gotta do a little thinking first. For example, if you want to get across a hypothetical creek to a hypothetical island and take some hypothetical pictures of a hypothetical cliff, make sure you take your camera with you . Because let me tell ya, it sucks to have to walk back through that horribly cold water (approximate temperature - 1 Kelvin) just to get your backpack.
It's probably a sign that you've been laying out in the sun trying to dry out when the vultures start circling lower and lower over your head, too.
Even when you think you can't possibly take another picture, it's probably a good idea just to leave one left on the roll. You never know what weirdness or coolness you might miss. Half of a picture of a sign is worthless, although I guess having a picture at all is a step up from last time.
Hypothetically.
The Formulaic Ho-week
as programmed in VB.NET
Dim Frustration as Integer
Dim Day as String
Private Sub btnDayMeter_Click()
Frustration = TextBox1.Text
Day = TextBox2.Text
If (Frustration >= 5) And (Frustration Label1.Text = "Gr."
ElseIf (Frustration = 0) Then
Label1.Text = "Whoa...a good day."
Else :
MsgBox("Hey, stupid, it's a scale of one to ten.")
End If
If (Day = "Monday") Or (Day = "Tuesday") Or (Day = "Wednesday") Or (Day = "Thursday") Then
Label2.Text = "Life sucks a great deal."
ElseIf Day = "Friday" Then
Label2.Text = "Life semi-sucks."
ElseIf (Day = "Saturday") Or (Day = "Sunday") Then
Label2.Text = "Life is good."
Else:
MsgBox("You just don't get it, do you? Gotta use the Gregoria...
Grudging "Yahoo PU!" for the Purdue biologists who made the West Nile discovery that was on the news. And yes, I realize there are two CDs of the week, but I figured that I owed everyone that much for being remiss in my duties on the sidebar work.
Current Ladybug Death Toll: 16. ... 17. All in three wild killing sprees. They stink when ya squash em.
It's Friday night and all I want to do is read and nap - just how pathetic is that? (rhetorical question)
David Washburn was a great guy and a good teacher despite what a lot of people had to say about him. Saturday morning, he passed away, finally succombing to his bout with cancer. I remember seeing him at the store earlier this summer and we had a little talk after I'd carried out the groceries. He said the usual "Good luck at school. You'll do fine." type good-bye that all of our teachers say when we see each other for what could be the last time ever. Now it seems to be a totally different, and much sadder good-bye. The sort that really makes me want to do as good as he thought I could.
I have no doubt that he's fishing with God right now. Rest in peace, Mr. Washburn.
:-(
"7. Never value anything as profitably that compels you to break your promise, to lose your self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to act the hypocrite, to desire anything that needs walls or curtains; for he who has preferred to everything else his own intelligence and daimon [soul] and worship of its existence, acts no tragic part, does not groan, will not need either solitude or much company; and, what is chief of all, he will live without either pursuing or flying from death; but whether for a longer time or a shorter time he shall have the soul encased in the body he cares not: for even if he must depart immediately, he will go as readily as if he were going to do anything else that could be done with decency and order; taking care of this only all through life, that his thoughts abide with the concerns of an intelligent animal and a member of a civil community."
"12. If you apply yourself to the task before you, following right reason seriously,...
Once again, I give you Ayn Rand.
"Mr. Reardon," said Francisco, his voice solemnly calm, "if you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of this strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders - what would you tell him to do?"
"I ...don't know. What ...could he do? What would you tell him?"
"To shrug."
The Summer in Review: Lessons Learned
The Exciting Sequel to “The Year in Review”
or Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned While Camping
I would have to say that the highlight of the summer was the camping trip just last weekend. For some reason, there’s just something about driving a big van with good tunes, great friends, and wacky/stupid radio personalities that makes for an unforgettable experience. Makes for some thoughtful thoughts, too, so I decided to share my newfound knowledge with all of my faithful readers.
Never stop climbing the hill. You’re gonna fall and scrape the hell out of your arms and legs, and you may even permanently screw up some of your clothing, but getting to the top is always worth it. It’s good if you have film in your camera at that point, too.
Always be prepared, because it could rain at any time.
Butane is your friend (thanks Jason!).
Believe it or not, the hicks get even hickier than the worst New Carlisle residents in centr...
Here we are: only four more days till we find out if Joshua Robert Heaton, Sarah Ann Monroe, and Joshua Alex Holewczynski would make it on one of those reality television shows that take place in the great outdoors. Those of you who care for any one or any number of these individuals should probably say a meaningful goodbye. If the fish or mosquitoes don't eat us, if we don't starve to death, if we don't drown in the river, if we don't walk off sandstone cliffs, if we don't wander our way into Mexico, and if we don't die of heat exhaustion, then we'll be back next Sunday night with plenty of stories to fill all of our blogs with.
War and Peace is funny! Really!
Never, never marry, my dear fellow; that's my advice to you; don't marry till you have faced the fact that you have done all you're capable of doing, and till you cease to love the woman you have chosen, till you see her plain, or else you will make a cruel mistake that can never be set right. Marry when you're old and good for nothing...Or else everything good and lofty in you will be done for. It will all be frittered away over trifles. Yes, yes, yes! Don't look at me with such surprise. If you expect anything of yourself in the future you will feel at every step that for you all is over, all is closed up except the drawing-room, where you will stand on the same level with the court lackey and the idiot...And why!
Why, the whole story of life lies in it. You talk of Bonaparte and his career, [...], you talk of Bonaparte, but Bonaparte when he was working his way up, going step by step straight to his aim, he was free;...
The Ho Times
Attempting to make people laugh and/or inform them since June 2002
Student unravels mystery of stupid teachers
NOTRE DAME, IN - Many students of New Prairie High School in New Carlisle, IN have wondered why so many of their teachers appear to be substandard, or lacking in what they call "knowledge." And of course, it's taken a student to answer a stumping question once again.
"They just jump through hoops," said 2002 graduate of NPHS Joshua Holewczynski. "The very first exam that the teachers have to pass is a complete joke. I bet monkeys who've surgically had 90% of their brains removed could pass that stupid thing."
Mr. Holewczynski is referring to the Praxis I exam, which is very similar in format to the SATs except that it costs much, much, much more. The test covers all three of the same areas that the SATs do, just to a lesser degree.
"There was one algebra-based question. That's as difficult as it g...
I thought some of you my be curious to know whether or not I'd finally kicked the bucket. I hate to disappoint you, but I'm still in total control of all of my facilities (except for my mind, of course).
Check by check, I'm working my way towards my financial goal for the summer. So yay for that.
Chicago? Possible early summer trip in early July. I'm still debating on that. If everyone who wants to come on the "end of the summer trip" to the Windy City will let me know when s-c-h-o-o-l starts for them this fall, I can try to get a date worked out that works for all of us.
Congrats to all graduates of the class of '03 who are heading to Marian College, Indy, this fall. My future bitches - prepare yourselves, bwahahaha...
Enough incoherency for now, before I sound like that writer from that McBlog publication.
The Year in Review
Today, I begin to pack up my things. I've sold all my books and I've claimed all of my "works of art" from the art annex. I've stopped putting things on the to-be-washed pile and instead just started lining them up to be bagged. Stacks of papers are everywhere, making my room look like it has stalagmites of paper coming out of the floor. I haven't really started going through these papers yet, but I know that I have to.
It seems like, for some reason, a lot of this year has gone in one ear and out the other without meeting much resistance. Maybe it's just the fact that I know the gen-ed classes are worthless and therefore refuse to pay much attention. Maybe it's the fact that I drained my brain pulling through 20 credit hours (anyone who ever takes this many hours will have a lifetime of awed looks and utmost respect from me). Maybe it's the fact that I've been living with a preppy pimp whose comings and goin...
Official Poll of the Week
brought to you by "Thursday" (motto: It doesn't get any more dull than this)
Assuming for a moment that Scott Peterson is guilty of killing his wife (who was 8 months pregnant when she disappeared in December of 2002):
Should he be tried for a single homicide or a double homicide?
"And all of a sudden...there it was."
(This goes out to all of you who have ever ran into a parked vehicle)
My Aunt Lisa used to live in an apartment complex in Plymouth. Next door to this complex was an old bank building which had been standing vacant for maybe five years. My cousin (Aunt Lisa's son) Jason and I used to play in the bank's old parking lot all the time - cops and robbers, running races, the whole deal. On one particular birthday, he got a new ten-speed, and passing me his mom's bike, we proceeded out to the lot where I hoped to prove that I could still kick his ass, despite the fact that I was riding what seemed like a 1937 Schwin.
It started out great. Maneuvering around under the window tellers' extension roof was a little tricky and there was plenty of broken glass to avoid. Otherwise, we ran a pretty decent race. At one point, he stopped completely and waited for me to come around again. "Look!" he said, "I...
I've been thinking a lot about my kids lately. No, this is not a confession-blog about a hoard of illegitimate little Ho's running around Indianapolis (wipe that stupidly relieved look off of your face - yeah, you). The kids that could be. It all comes back to one question:
Do you have any idea how screwed up my kids are going to be? (that's rhetorical; if you feel obligated to answer, my response to your response is right here )
Their father is not exactly antisocial, but he definitely holds some ideas that run contrary to your mainstream philosophies of life. So my poor little Darran and/or Emily (or however many others end up running around my house) will have two conflicting images of life from the day they first set foot in school. They will probably develop intellectually on a different level than children of their age as well, since I plan on doing as much preschooling as I can at home.
I've often wondered if I'll ever have a sacred room to mys...
Today's interesting piece of conversation:
Person #1: [spoken with whining sincerity] "I've got a D- ?? He's so biased in this class!!"
Person #2: [spoken with sarcasm] "Towards the smart people?"
Person #1: [whining sincerity again] "YES! It's not fair!"
Person #2: *blink*
Stupid people give me headaches.
Philosophy gets a kick in the ass
For those of you who knew that I was planning on working towards a minor in Philosophy, I should probably tell you that that is no longer the plan. It's not that the class load I'm taking is overwhelming (although it does have the tendency to suck giant exploding monkey balls), it's more that the term 'philosophy' isn't quite defined at the scholarly level in quite the manner that I like to think of it. There's more talk of logic, predication, and other matters that I find completely irrelevant to philosophical, moral, or ethical discussions that I find so interesting. So the question arises: "Is there anything else I could minor in?" Physics was a thought, but we don't offer any certification here in that, and the next class up from the one I'm taking is an independent study. A minor in computer studies is a possibility; I may never reach the prowess of Chancellor Heaton, but being the close sec...
I can't help but share another link; this time, I'm taking you to news only of slightly more importance than the return of Hootie and the Blowfish. Let me say right off the bat that I certainly am no trophy myself, but is this guy for real? Looks to me like a 60 year old Ken doll that's been stuck in the microwave. Hopefully, unless Yahoo shuffles the pictures, the guy I'm referring to will be the very top thumbnail listed. He should have a bunch of flags behind him as he's standing at a podium. That face just cracked me up. Maybe it was just me.
"This is one is my personal favorite experiences happened this past week. Have you ever pulled on to the highway and left your blinker on cause the genius who designed your car didn't think that you would be making a turn not as sharp as a Formula 1 hair pen? Well I did and I am just driving along at the maximum speed my little Ford Ranger (The Danger Ranger for those of you who know it well) will let me go, so roughly 50 mph, with the glorious sounds of Led Zeppelin playing at the high possible volume, when I look next to me and there is a man in a truck that shows how much he needs to compensate for "other things" in his life, is matching my speed and, worst of all, is making eye contact with me! So I look over and give him the standard, "What in the hell are you looking at?" shrug, when he pulls out a laminated card from his middle console that has the words "TURN SIGNAL!" printed on it in huge block letters. Let me repeat that...A LAMINATE...
Homeland Security Advises Purchasing Duct-tape
Reported by J. Ho for Holand Press
Indianapolis, IN - Days after raising the level of terror awareness from "Yuh-oh" Yellow to "Oh shit!" Orange, head of the Homeland Security Department Tom Ridge released a list safety precautions that he suggested the general public take into consideration in the ensuing weeks. Ridge's no-nonsense attitude towards the matter ("To be honest with you, I will spend the next six months in a deep underground bunker with my wife and kids, as well as the teddy bear I've had since I was two, Binky. He's such a cutie.") has created substantial amounts of concern across the county.
Canned food and other non-perishable foodstuffs top the list, along with a few toiletries, batteries, and a small radio to listen for announcements in the case of disaster. Toward the end of the list of recommended purchases, however, several items can be found that the average citiz...
Top Ten Signs that the Apocolypse is Near
or "You know we're getting old when..."
10. Ho kicks Tori's ass off of the Twister board.
9. Heaton decides that his computer is fine just the way it is.
8. Jennifer is seen driving to...well...driving.
7. "Blackberry Picking" suddenly gains the other dimension that it already supposedly has.
6. McRoe passes up a chance for any form of alcoholic beverage, even rubbing alcohol on the rocks.
5. Ho kicks Tori's ass.
4. Venting Inc. gives birth to it's first dependent blog - Sons and Daughters of Venters, Inc.
3. Phil the Thrill, Igor, or Scurf drive their last mile. (uh oh)
2. Spurling becomes the head cheese of the ACLU.
And the number one sign the the apocolypse is near is...
The world in general develops an appreciation for the Fuzz. :-P
Why Ho is Not Good With Dates
Appeared without Ho-commentary in the Indy Star on 1/24/03
1. "Show up on time (never early). Don't bring a gift or flowers on the first date; chances are slim you'll pick something to her taste." ~ OK, I was always told that you should get there five minutes early or so in order to make a good impression on her rents and so that you don't keep her waiting. Silly me.
2. "Listen to what she says. Don't talk all night about your dog, car, boat, favorite sports team, job, or last girlfriend." ~ Those seem like the best ways to find out what the two of you have in common on a first date to me. Besides, my memory is so horrible that even when I DO listen, I would fail a quiz given by the date the next day.
3. "Do hold the door or chair for a woman. Don't use the line that "Women's lib made us equal." Any women will appreciate good manners." ~ No shit. Finally, one for three....
***Warning: Do not read this if you have anything against learning things outside of the classroom.***
This may not be anything new to you Zharticans, but I learned that absolute zero does NOT mean total lack of movement at the atomic level. I tried to question the prof about it afterwards, and he just gave me something about a ground level energy state that all atoms/molecules have to maintain. This seems incredibly obvious now that he says it, so I had to give myself a hearty slap on the forehead.
On a more revolutionary front, I was skimming a book by Stephen Hawking in Waldenbooks yesterday and I came across something even more interesting: while parallel universes are things of science fiction and science fiction only, similar universes exist...somewhere. Things got technical beyond my ability to grasp in a simple skimming, but the way I understood it, there's a LOT of other J. A. Holewczynski's out there, which rocks me in this world, if not all of the others....
Updates in the World of Ho:
1. Chicago, while freezing, was a lot of fun. We all came home with pizza coming out of our ears, frostbitten earlobes, assorted gifts for ourselves, and for some of us, less gas than we left South Bend with (if you don't know, you don't want to know, trust me).
2. Although I don't have the specific grades with me, my GPA for the first semester was 3.7. Physics was the big hurt: B. Hopefully things will look up next semester...
3. This rolly-chair really kicks arse. I would highly recommend a rolly-chair to any dorm student. Or anyone else for that matter.
4. Oh yeah, my flu is gone. For all of those out there who were unaware of that fact...
5. So...who's up for Chicago? Kidding.
6. The only reason I love the computer at home is because I can burn wonderful CDs like the one that's playing right now. Otherwise, I'd like to nuke that son of a bitch. Thankfully, Heaton used exactly that word ("TOT...