Musing

From Nic's Big Elf or Ho Ho Ho Says... Merry Christmas! PS: Your gift is in the Annex.

What Do We Tell Them? or "He Thought Up a Lie and He Thought It Up Quick I'm a little torn on the whole Santa (1) thing. Some years from now, I'm going to have to come to a decision - do I lie to my kids for the first 8-10 years of their life or so, or do I ruin the the surprise for him/her and possibly all of my kids' friends? I expect my kids to be pretty rational thinkers, so I don't like the idea of insulting their intelligence with stories of a fat man in red who uses flying reindeer to go around the world and deliver presents. But if I just straight up get the kids gifts for no reason, what does that say about the whole season? I certainly can't abolish the whole idea of presents; I'd have my own children involved in a mutiny at age 8, and as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather that that happens when they're old enough to be legally responsible for the stupid stuff they do. So what's worse? White lies and insults or pre-ado...

Introspection or Christmas Wishes for All Sarah and I were on the campus of IUPUI this weekend when that feeling started bothering me again. Looking around at all of the people (and worse, the one-way streets) made my stomach flop around like a fish out of water. A big campus to look forward to in a year and a half is only a part of the story. The real world is coming to get me. It got Brian. I'm next. In high school, most seniors got serious only because they didn't want their grades to slip and screw up any chance they had to get into college. Now that we're all here, 9/10 people on campus are actually going to join the 3/10 or so in high school who went straight into the work force. Those people are probably comfortable now. Their couple years of gripping the real world by their fingertips has finally allowed them to get a firmer grip on life's truths. Now most seniors are getting serious because they know they are about to join the world that...

A Completely Optimistic and Happy Post! - Updated or Looking Ahead to 2005 For anyone who follows some of the same music that I do, you may or may not be aware of the farking awesome outlook for 2005. Let me just cut right to the chase. Official News: Oasis is planning the release of their seventh studio album for four days before my birthday (obviously a gesture of recognition from my boys), making May 16th the most anticipated date on my 2005 calendar. No title has yet been released for the album, although Noel has been quoted several times as having come up with over 60 songs that the band will be sifting through in search of the best album combo. Not bad for having scratched over a dozen just months ago. Coldplay has promised an album to follow up the phenominal success of their 2002 album "A Rush of Blood to the Head" in March. No official day has been specified, nor any title mentioned. Rumor has it there will be a very extensive live tour, includin...

Something for My Hallmates To Think About or #10 on My Christmas Wish List [For those of you who don't live in my hall here at Marian, I've been keeping a day-by-day "Christmas list" of mostly absurd or comical things I'd like to find under the tree. Today, however, I took the opportunity to use the list to ask for something serious - Hallmates who understand and live by the Franciscan value 'Dignity of the Individual.' Since I didn't have enough room on the whiteboard, I've listed the URL of this site on the whiteboard and asked anyone who is curious to read this post. So here we go.] The other day, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria on the side where the really active Catholics typically sit (I don't know how else to describe that side, but anyone who goes here knows the area I'm referring to). I hadn't brought anything to read with me, so I was actually tuned in to what was going on around me for a change. And to be ho...

"I Bring You Tidings of Great Joy" or The Computer Messiah Cometh I'd like to take this opportunity to offer one small proof of how much I rule. While working with my right hand man Christian to replace several stolen DVD players in a couple classrooms on the second floor of Marian Hall, we found that one of the rooms that was supposed to be empty actually had a class in it. When the professor came out to see who was knocking, he looked at me and said "You are Joshua!" I was surprised, because I hadn't had him since...spring of freshman year, I believe. (1) Later, after much random (but always interesting, I'll give him that) talk and diagnosing a little problem with his Mac (2) , he turned to me by way of parting and said "I was thrilled to learn that you were returning this year." I was confused, so I asked him if he meant returning to class with him this spring. He said "No, no, this August. Ed [Ed Bailey, Computer Ser...

Welcome to December or Nothing Like Reveling in Depression Let me be the first to welcome you all to my favorite month of the year - December. Let the melancholy music play, let the thoughts of how quickly the year has passed turn over and over in your mind, and most importantly of all...learn from your mistakes. In this order, here are the tracks on the playlist I'll be playing 90% of the month, entitled "Decembrish." December - Collective Soul Hopeless - Sister Hazel Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - Journey Bed of Lies - Matchbox Twenty It's Been a While - Staind Aurora - Foo Fighters Made to Last - Semisonic Where Did It All Go Wrong? - Oasis You Won't Be Mine - Matchbox Twenty Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve Epiphany - Staind Wonderwall [cover] - Ryan Adams Black Balloon - Goo Goo Dolls My December - Linkin Park Hopeless - Train A Long December - Counting Crows I'm About to Come Alive - Train

Meijer Will Cure My Semi-Homosexual Decorations or Tis Not the Season for Pink The burning question of the season, which was formerly "What am I getting for Christmas?", has been replaced by a new question. This speaks directly to the heart of the holiday decorating season in St. Francis Room 102. It speaks across a span of who-knows how many years. It speaks to almost anyone who buys Christmas lights these days. The question: Who was the idiot who started putting pink bulbs in strands of Christmas lights? Questions like "What was this individual thinking?", "Is this person still alive, and if so, why hasn't he/she been offed yet?", and "Do we really want to know how gay this individual was?" all arise, but these are all secondary. Why pink? What was wrong with the simple red, blue, green, and yellow/orange? Hell, I'd rather have plain white lights decorating my room than a strand that is 20% pink. Even faded red ones ...

Commala-come-come, This Story Will Never Be Done or A Rare Thing Do not ever, ever, ever allow me to finish the Coda to the final book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series. Ever. The wordslinger himself warned against it, and reading part of the way in, I decided it was best to leave the story as it ended, because the direction the Coda was taking was not at all to my liking. Hile, wordslinger. Your request will be fulfilled. For the kingdom, the Tower, and the glory are Roland's, regardless of the ending. Say thank-ya, big-big.

A Shameless Plug or I Got Bored You may or may not have noticed that the Wine List disappeared yesterday. I'd like to say that it's gone to a better place, but to be honest, it was just getting too damn long to be a sidebar any longer. So Musing has branched out: four more pages of Ho-ey fun for the wHOle family. If you don't catch the movie reference that I couched the link in, you are no longer welcome here. So go on. Grab the fam, pull up some chairs for your lazy asses, and gather around the good stuff. You never know, maybe your kids will learn some new vocabulary words or something. For those days when you're high on the feeling of spinning the world like a basketball on your middle finger, I offer up my all-time favorite JPEG on earth:

Brutality or You Are Probably a Loser, But That's Okay Dear Everyone, Don't assume, by that title or through knowledge of how I run my life and relationships, that I am going to say that it's okay to be a loser, or an idiot, as long as you are happy with yourself and as long as you don't try impress that lifestyle of your own upon me. Don't assume that I am going to continue to be a tolerant, patient person. Take this, instead, as an invitation to walk right out my door, and if it hits you on the ass on the way out, I pray to whatever supernatural being that YOU believe in that it knocks some logic or some sense of reality in you. I have a new tolerance policy. Zero-tolerance. I have no tolerance for people who refuse to learn from the past. There are examples of people living like some of you do right now, both in your own past and in my past. I have done my best to show you what I have learned about the errors of my ways. I have done my best t...

I'm Joshua Holewczynski and I Approve This Message or The DoJ Endorses Football at Marian College Based on the seminar I attended this evening in the Library Auditorium, I believe the College has sufficient reasoning to go through with the Football Initiative that it currently being scrutinized. As a student, I had received the mistaken impression that this was "football for the sake of raising the vibrancy of student life on campus." I can't say how relieved I was to hear President Elsener say that the Initiative is merely a means to several, larger ends, including improving our academic profile. This was the only major concern or problem I had with the idea from the beginning. The idea of putting out several million dollars for a new stadium and several hundred thousand dollars in opening/operating expenses within the first few years when we have sinks that don't even work in our labs and cracks in our walls large enough to put our fingers in scared me...

On a Heartening Note... or This Is Really All There Is To This Poem, I swear Now hollow fires burn out to black,   And lights are guttering low: Square your shoulders, lift your pack,   And leave your friends and go. Oh never fear, man, nought's to dread,   Look not to left nor right: In all the endless road you tread   There's nothing but the night. ~A.E. Housman Just make sure you're packing a good deal of alcohol.

The 2004 Ho Music Awards Contestants This List Is Incomplete Here's a preview of the candidates as I see them now. Time is running out to make suggestions of your own! Feel free to comment on my selections or to add your own. Song of the Year Apocalypse, Please ~ Muse August and Everything After ~ Counting Crows Cold Hard Bitch ~ Jet Gravedigger ~ Dave Matthews There, There ~ Radiohead World Inside My Head ~ Sister Hazel Album of the Year Absolution ~ Muse Get Born ~ Jet Lift ~ Sister Hazel Retro Songs of the Year [Since this category includes all of the songs that make the list, I won't be publishing their names just yet. I have thought of more than just the one that I had up before, though.] Discovery Artist of the Year Dave Matthews Band Doves Muse Seven Mary Three Stone Temple Pilots [I renamed this category (it used to be New Artist of the Year) because there honestly aren't enough emerging bands that could possible ...

Reason #930,389 That I Am Not An English Major or Major Boredom Strikes on Election Night In a horrible judgement call on my part, I told several different people that I was going to publish the following poem/satire. It was great fun for the first half or so. Then it just all fell apart and became tedious for some reason. I guess I didn't realize how terribly long the original poem was. In any case, here it is - the uncut and unclean satire of the poem generally attributed to Clement Moore, "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." I call my version "'Twas the Night of the Election." Ignore any typographical errors, weak rhymes, and other defects - I admit they're there. 'Twas the night of the election and all through the States All the people were cursing while CNN replayed debates The chads that were hung from the punch-cards with care Would soon be torn off and discarded with a glare The candidates were nestled all snug in thei...

Teenage Mutant Ninja Pussies or One Worm To Bring Them All, And In Josh's Room Squash Them In retrospect, the Turtles were the biggest waste of superpower-giving ooze I've ever seen in my life. They only used the full extent of those powers in extreme situations where the world was about to end because of the never-quite-perfect plans of an old Samauri and a walking, talking brain. Once the world was safe from the forces of coolness that Shredder & Co. represented, they went back and had their little gay foursomes and ate pizza. If that's not a waste of ooze, I don't know what is. Unfortunately, the powers of Evil have found a source of ooze somewhere near my dorm room and bathed small creatures in it that were bred to be a combination between a waxworm and a spider. So now my room is being overrun by 2 inch worms with half-inch legs that come crawling out of different places at totally random times, completely grossing me out and making me wonder what ...

Charlie Brown is a Jew Lucy is a Nazi, But You Already Knew That You probably think I'm joking. I'm not. I've seen "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" almost every year of my life, I feel pretty comfortable looking at the deeper meaning behind this beloved classic. Imagine my astonishment earlier this evening when the true meaning behind the animated special hit me: Charlie and Sally Brown are stupid, Jewish, and should be stoned. * Rationale: First of all, these two kids are Browns. Historically, Browns are Jewish. There are notable exceptions, but since this isn't a main point, I'll let it be. Second, Sally threatens to sue Linus for missing tricks-or-treats when the Great Pumpkin does not show up on All Hallows Eve. Litigation comes as naturally to Jews as wailing does. Person/Being with the most suits against him: Jehovah. And Jews wonder why He's always pissed. What's with all of the whining? Seriously. ...

Happy Birthday, Buddy or Randomnessality Part Deux Over the weekend of my Fall Break, the greatest truck on earth turned 200. So next time you're having a drink, give it up for Scurf and drink another one. November 4th, 2004, I'm going to hit up my first club concert for 21ers and over. Sister Hazel is coming to The Vogue in Broad Ripple and tickets are only $18. So as long as I can find my way there, I oughta have a pretty...interesting evening. On a different musical note, Sarah and I are going to the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra on the 30th. Berlioz and Listz are on the playlist for the night, so I'm familiar with what will be played. That should be a great time as well. That goes without saying when I go out with her though. :-D EDU has finally met its death in me. It's quite liberating to be out of that crap. The professor that oversees the field experience class that I withdrew from would like me to write up a review of the teacher with ...

Do You Have The Dice? or How Notre Dame Blew The Game Against Purdue This week, everyone's favorite armchair coach is bringing you proof that he's not a completely one-sided asshole (he's an all-around asshole, thank you very much). Here are a few things that just royally pissed me off about the entire 41-16 defeat on the home turf. 1. This is Notre Dame. But this is not defense. This is a team that has been known for several years as being one of the best defenses in the nation. But watching the game today made me wonder if the defense had even set their feet on a field since last Saturday's crushing of the Huskies. While they did an admirable job of keeping the running game in check, the passing game just soared right over their heads. You have got to play a much closer game when you have an opposing QB that fires shots more accurately than John Wayne. Which leads to... 2. Kyle Orten This kid is incredible, no doubt about that. Yes, he has ...

Flashback or Remember when... It was a pretty warm day last summer as we walked along the trails in Shades, only a few hours before the rainstorm that would leave us running breathlessly and cursing all the way back to the tent. The sun was still shining at this point, actually. I still remember seeing the sun on the mud that was right in front of my face after I slid down the hill. Damn it all to Hell, but Heaton and I just HAD to make it up the side of the ravine. The slope was definitely more than a 45* angle, and when then ground beneath your feet is clay/mud that is constantly being moistened by water seeping through cracks in the rocks over your head, the climb becomes quite the challenge. That didn't stop us from tearing the crap out of that slope, though. We struggled through the jewelweed plants, reaching for rocks and roots and anything that looked like it could hold any weight. Heaton beat me by a long ways. Over and over, the rocks under my feet became t...

Redirection or Delta Pace That pretty much says it all. They say that an obscene percentage of college students change their major/career plans at least once while taking undergrad courses. And now, it seems that I am quickly headed towards becoming one of those statistics. What else can I say? I love physics. It's applied math, used for research in some of the most cunning ways in the most cutting-edge fields of modern physics. It beats trying to beat stupid high school shits into believing that the quadratic equation really is important. I started my first field experience today in which I will actually take control of a certain period twice a week for a period of several weeks. Instead of looking forward to it with an expected amount of nervousness, I know I'm going to get up in front of those kids on Thursday with nothing but a feeling of defeat. These kids don't give a damn, plain and simple. Few of them ever will. I know it's not like me to...

A One-Fingered Compliment or How To Tell When You're Truly Appreciated One of the stockboys took out a stack of groceries to put up today, then came back into the back room a minute later and asked Joe (the boss) what he should do next. Joe blinked, then suggested that he do the stack that the boy just took out. Looking surprised at Joe's brilliance, the kid said "Oh, good idea!" then hurried out. I was at Joe's desk watching the whole thing and raised my eyebrow at him after the boy walked out, saying "I wish you the best of luck starting Thursday," since my last day is Wednesday. I went back to the order I was working on as he walked over and said "I've only got one thing to say to you about that." I waited a moment, and then looked up to find his middle finger raised in my direction. Then we both laughed: mine, grateful; his, rueful. I've never felt so needed.

Let's Get Something Straight or Clarification Let's talk about selfishness for a moment. This is what being selfish REALLY is: bettering your own quality of life by knowingly and willingly reducing the quality of life of others. Spending the money you earned on a new CD is not selfish - stealing $5 from every member of your household to buy a CD is. Putting aside a little money each week as a rainy day fund is not selfish - dipping into your childrens' college fund to go to Europe is. Making excuses for a job done poorly is a lame attempt at saving face - trying to take down an entire department with you is pure, unadulterated, downright hateful selfishness. I can hardly comprehend how anyone could be so dispicably selfish, yet I see a lot of it every day. How could anyone take more than their due without feeling guilty? How could anyone have so little regard for anyone else but him/herself? It's just like the constant lectures we heard in middle sch...

The Dog Days of Summer or Those Long Haired Blues   In the spirit of shamelessly ripping off someone else's website, I'm going to post some more random comments in place of something that could actually be considered a full-length, coherent post in hopes of keeping the post-hounds at bay.   For all of you who are sick of the long hair, I've decided that I'm getting it cut before vacation in mid August.  The weather down there in Perdido Key is typically Floridian:  90-95* F with a chance of thunderstorms every day.  This rug would be way too warm to keep around.   Yesterday, I finally went to 1st Source and opened a savings account there, since I closed my one at Sobieski's earlier this month.  It was odd to hold so much money in my hands at once.  The moment was way too fleeting.   There's also something else that's been on my mind for a few weeks now, but I'm not sure that I want to throw it out for everybody quite yet....

A Rare Salute or Looking Up To People Six Feet Under Gotta give 'em credit - the Founding Fathers had balls. Great idea, great execution. It's only everyone since them that's farked everything up.

Irritations A short note on where I've been #2: Working 40+ hour weeks is a really good way to force yourself into an early grave, especially when said hours don't really net you the funds you would expect/hope to earn. I worked 9AM - 8PM yesterday, then came home and fell asleep literally as soon as I laid down. The Bright Side NOT what you were expecting to follow the previous comment This is going to be a little paragraph on the pride I take in my job, so if you don't feel like hearing it, you've been warned. Okay, so you're still with me. Good. 11 hours nonstop is not only illegal, but it's also just plain damn hard work. Especially when there is no one else there to help you with your job. Joe, my boss, left as soon as I got there and only appeared during the afternoon for about an hour to pick up a few things off of his desk and check on the store. My quick math tells me that that's ten hours that I owned that store. When...

Irritations #1 (many more coming soon) #1: People who stand in front of the milk cooler and ask where they can find the milk in this damn store, because God knows they've looked everywhere.

Ten Rock Albums That You Shouldn't Be Able To Live Without (a rather subjective listing of the greatest music ever in no particular order) [I] - Led Zeppelin This is the absolute pinnacle of bluesy rock - and it was only their beginning. This is a CD that you really would screw up by burning it, because a lot of the songs go right from one to the next without a pause. Don't be a fool. Buy it. Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd I just realized how pathetic you have to be if you don't know who created each of these albums. I'll keep doing it, though, to benefit all of you clueless losers. This is another album you really shouldn't burn. There are lots of different rereleased versions of the original album out there, some supposedly better than others. Google it before you go out and buy your own copy. Back in Black - AC/DC Need I say more? Almost 50% of this album later became singles material, so you know I'm not the only one who l...

Two Earthshaking Articles or Whoa Ever wonder what happened to Creed, like me? Wonder no more. I'm probably one of very few who read this that care, but I couldn't call myself a fan if I didn't make note of such a monumental occurance here.

Update on the Cheese Curds I'm sure you were all dying to hear a follow-up Now, from the same people that brought you Cheese Curds comes: Amish Cheese! I assume that this is just American cheese made by Amish cows.

The Rant of an Angry Country Person Disclaimer: I am in a very foul mood, so this may just ramble. Subdivisions - they're everywhere. As I was cutting the lawn today, I was looking at all of the fields and trees around me and wondering how long it would be before they were all leveled and turned into more houses. Just look at New Prairie Knolls down the street. What I wouldn't give to see the Black Plague confine itself to the streets of that place, or to make the whole place so radioactive that it can't be touched for 1000 Julys (of course, the radioactivity would have to strictly confine itself to the boundries of the subdivision; there are several houses around it that were already there long before it was built). A couple of years ago, there was talk of a subdivision going in right across the street from me. Luckily, the cell tower people apparently offered more for that smaller piece of land or the idea just plain tanked. That's the beauty of the Wes...

On Turning 21 or The Fallacy of Growing Up The birthday that finally awards everyone full adult status is often considered the last birthday to look forward to. After that, you're Just Getting Older. But let's all be honest - there probably isn't a soul living on this earth who actually declined any form of alcohol until he or she turned 21 years of age. To me, it seems like there is even less reason to celebrate at 21. Where's the excitement/pleasure in doing something that is now 100% legal? Is it the ability to go to bars? Those smokey holes would quickly be in the red if they expected me to support them in any way, shape, or form. Is it the ability to finally walk into a liquor store alone? Excuse me while I laugh at your joy in that childish pleasure. Weren't we done growing up at 16? Once you're old enough to work and drive, what integral part of life is left? 18 years of life gets you assorted legal rights which most of us never have to...

Well Damn or Why My Mother Should Not Empty My Wastebaskets Before I go any farther, I should probably say that this post has nothing to do with finding used condoms in the trash. There, I said it. I had found a paper, dated back to the winter of 02-03, entitled "An Incomplete List of Some of the Funniest Ways to Die Laughing." I had intended to copy it here and polish it up a little bit, but I accidentally trashed it earlier. Apparently, Mom also emptied the trash in here earlier for some reason. So the poor post has been lost. :-( I will do my best to recreate it to the best of my ability. Sometime in the near future, anyway. This new bloggy goodness is going to take some getting used to, but I think I'm going to like it. Ignore any extra commentary-type links. Note: This is my 100th post! Yay! Too bad it sucked.

Taking Care of Homeless People or If You Know Me, You Already Know What I Mean Who the hell do homeless people think they are? How many of them have you seen walking around with shopping carts full of their belongings? Shopping carts. I have grave doubts about the origins of those carts. They should have to carry licenses or paperwork or something for them. As far as I can figure, most of those carts were probably stolen from somewhere. Stolen!! We've all seen the signs in the parking lots of stores that encourage us to return the carts to save ourselves money (although I'm not exactly sure how that saves us money, I'm willing to take their word for it). I don't claim to be an expert in the law, but I'm pretty sure that being homeless doesn't allow you to harvest shopping carts from Meijer or some other similar establishment. After this occured to me, I turned my mind to a solution. We could just arrest them, but that would actually be putting...

The Year in Review Not to be confused with The Year in Review, which happens in December **Warning - Most readers will probably find this entry very dull. You may turn back now if you wish, but don't say I didn't warn you.** Half-way through the first step of the American Dream, aren't we? I would venture to say that most of us have an idea of what sort of classes await us in the next two years to a pretty high degree of accuracy. Myself, I can definitely identify with the feeling that it's all downhill from here. As much as I dislike coming home to the thought of having to work random hours at Nic's, it pales in comparison to the thought of having to search for a job several hundred miles away and then trying to make it in a place where I know no one . Only two, maybe three more summers at Nic's before I ride off into the sunset; I have to wonder if Joe is going to hire a full-timer in my absence or if Tim will take my place. I probably will take...

I May Be Sexist, But I'm Also Right or This Is Bound To Land Me In The Doghouse This one goes out to all the guys in the world. I feel ya. Every guy will experience this phenomenon at regular yet widely spaced intervals in his life. It's something that's bad enough when he has to experience it from only one source, but when the planets are aligned in just the right pattern, it happens. Every woman you know has her period in the same week. There are few things in the world that suck more than that (such as blown head gaskets, kicks in the nuts, or questions posed by women that we can't answer to name those few). You can't say a word that's right to any of them and when you turn to your male compadres, they tell you to say things that only get you deeper in the hole. Or they don't have a clue what to do. But trust me - they know what you're talking about. They've been there. They know. They sympathize. My solution? SHUT UP. ...

Modernist Poetry or Something I Thought I'd Never Like I like this. "Harvest" You reap what you sow The tears overflow Hurts more than you know And the world mourns your loss You cover your eyes The hope in you dies The sun just won't rise And your heart counts the cost Walk through the trees Kick the dead leaves Stings of the bees Hurt      Hurt           Hurt coldheartcoldaircoldcoldcold frosticecold death And another one bites the dust. ~Author Unknown

Randomnessality or Untitled #1 Sometimes, I wonder why I'm here. Then I remember: somebody has to eat all of the jelly beans. Proof that music is an essential part of anyone's life. I miss my Christmas lights. Both jazz and classical music have made a powerful comeback to this room. Graduate school is looking more and more boring as every day goes on. Either my pop freezes or my ice cream melts. I hate my life. I just poked myself in the eye while trying to scratch my nose. Barring accidents and serious illnesses, I believe I am going to die in my sleep whenever I die. "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" is not by Foreigner, contrary to my long-held opinion. Peace is...peaceful. Peace and quiet. Peace.

Another Friendly Reminder or Side-Effects of the Week's Irritations Are Showing Through If you're not part of something, there's probably a good reason for it. So stay the fuck out.

The Power of One or Unplugged There's a certain I-don't-know-what to unplugging everything for a week and spending alone time truly alone. Nostalgia is one word I thought of yesterday, but it doesn't really do the feeling justice. It's like being back in the heyday of junior high, when homework was relatively nonexistant and my every minute spent at home was spent on a book. I had just discovered the wonderful world of the fantasy genre (thanks to Mr. Browning, who suggested I read Tolkien, although I thought the guy was just pushing his own favorite book or something) and that meant there was an entire section of material that I had to conquer in all of the libraries and bookstores that I frequented at the time. And now, for someone who went through most of high school with the ability to come home and get connected to a lot of other people with similar likes and dislikes via the internet and instant messaging, the beauty of a technological time-out is all ...

So this is odd, the painful realization that has all gone wrong. And nobody cares at all, and nobody cares at all. So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better. Does it make it any better? And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade. So this is strange, our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance where nobody leads at all, where nobody leads at all. And the picture frames are facing down and the ringing from this empty sound is deafening and keeping you from sleep. And breathing is a foreign task and thinking's just too much to ask and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights. This is incredible. Starving, insatiable, yes, this is love for the first time. Well you'd like to think that you were invincible. Yeah, well weren't we all once ...

Must Find Ecclesiastes... or There is a Time to Die I have no idea where that little poem is at and that means doing research. Gr. I thought that that's where it's at. Any help?

The Best Allusion I've Heard All Week or I Think I Am Ayn Rand's Male Reincarnated Self Someone pointed out to me today that I was trying to be much like "the Atlas in Atlas Shrugged ." It makes more and more sense the more I think about it. Refer to the September 7th quote I gave if you need more context. Atlas is (literally) dying to shrug.

A Tribute to Capitalism or The Ballad of the Lost Art of Curding Cheese This weekend, a sign on the side of the road on the Northside caught my attention. In big, black, bold letters were the words "Cheese Curds." It looked like one of those signs that old guys with beards and hole-riddled clothing carry around on the sidewalks downtown. Naturally this got me to wondering. All sorts of questions came to mind, like "What does one use cheese curds for?" or "Are homemade cheese curds sold along US-31 safe for human consumption?" or even "Wouldn't it be great to change the sign so that it reads "Cheese Turds"?" The possibilities were endless. But before I could finish laughing about cheese turds, I was already several miles past the sign. I think, as a poor college student, this is a great way to make money. All I have to do is pick up out-of-date milk for cheap from a big store like Meijer and just let the crap sit some...

Grammys Shmammies or I've Seen Half-time Shows Better Than That Yes, I was very disappointed. Mom and I talked about it on the phone the other night. I made the comment that the Age of Great Music has passed (1990-1998) and that the crap that has replaced it is only getting worse. I cited the Grammys as a prime example - a lot of rap and not a lot of clothing or sense. We didn't even get to see the awards for best rock ANYTHING (except for one, maybe two, which don't come readily to mind). She said that ("back in the day...") our grandparents said the same thing about Zeppelin, and that real music ended with the retirement of Frank Sinatra. Hey, I'm not a Sinatra fan, but I can appreciate the guy's musical talent. I don't care for a lot of the music that came out of the 80s either, but the majority of all musical artists of that time had at least a modicum of talent. But this generation of rap, R&B, and painted up glamour-girls...

An Important Definition or One of Those Words That People Need to Be Reminded Of Every Now and Then med-dler [ med -dler], n. 1. one who involves onself in a matter without right or invitation 2. one who interferes in a matter in which one knows less than one should to be part of that same matter

Revolutions A Review of the Most Pressing Questions/Theories Brought About By the End of the Matrix Trilogy #1 - Wtf? This is an all-encompassing question that explains the general feeling I've walked out of theaters thinking both times I've seen it. For more specifics, keep reading. #2 - When Morpheus, Trinity, and Seraph enter the Merovingian's club, the Merovingian looks over the edge of the balcony and calls Seraph "the prodigal son" and "my little Judas." By extension, therefore, I take that to mean that the Oracle would also be considered a traitor to the Merovingian's cause. But if they were traitors, then at some point they must have all been on the same side. Which leads ME to believe that in the past five "versions" of the Matrix, the Oracle and the Architect were on the same side. Why is this important? I believe this is a sign that this "version" WAS different - that this time, things were so radicall...

The 2003 Ho's Choice Music Awards First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to say that through this past year, thanks to viewers like you and the wonder of modern technology that is P2P file sharing, I was able to experience an incredible amount of new music by artists both new and old. So this year I decided to add a few extra awards to the end-of-year round-up. Let's begin with.... New Artist of the Year - Audioslave If you don't have their self-titled debut, your collection is missing a gem. I heard four of the songs on the CD before I went out and purchased it, so I was expecting a worthwhile buy. It exceded even my expectations - $10 at Walmart will get you these 14 stellar tracks. There's just something about the lead vocalist's voice that perfects an already awesome job by all of the band's instruments. Kind of a bluesy sound, I'd say. I should also add that one of the finalists for the coveted Song of the Year award, Sho...